Monday, September 01, 2014

The First Time I Saw You

Here's a poem I'm working on at the moment. The theme was set by a google writers' group I'm with. The brief being: The first time I saw you. I'm also posting the edit I did for the group.

Draft One

Owl

We built our house
on love and rock.
We built a room
in our hearts
to keep you.

We flicked
through name book
after name book
For a boy:
Alan, Christopher,
and Martin
For a girl:
Luna, Claire,
and Esther.

But you arrived
flash pan quick
with beak
and claws.
Your tawny
feathers
hid our tears.

Last night
the moon
was full
as a glass
of milk.
A dog
rummaged
in the rubbish
as we searched
in your eyes
for ways
in which
we
could feed
you the sun.

Tonight
we are
kept
awake
with
your claws
scratching
our hearts.
The moon
is
your base.
You say:
Feather and blood
will merge.
Bone and beak
will shatter
our eyes.

Draft Two

Owl

We built our house
on love and rock.
We built a room
in our hearts
to keep you.

Then 
you arrived
flash pan quick
with hooked beak
and talons.
Your tawny
feathers
hid our tears.

And when
the moon
was 
glass milk full
a dog
rummaged
in the rubbish
while 
eyes searched
for ways
to feed you.

Tonight,
your talons
scratch
our hearts.
The moon is
your base.

You say:
Feathers
and blood
will merge.
Bone 
and beak
will shatter
our eyes.

1 comment:

lostgander said...

I like this phrase a lot:

And when
the moon
was
glass milk full